Hourglass.

0

2012-02-07T20:14:00.001+08:00

Jangan cakap faham kalau perlu ku ulang beribu kali.

Jangan cakap kisah kalau aku rebah menangis dan tidak kau hilangkan air mata aku.

Jangan cakap sayang kalau aku dibiar sendiri saat aku mau kau disisi.

Tolong la jangan disebut lagi perkataan2 tu. Sebab aku dah tak percaya lagi.

Le update.

2012-02-05T09:20:00.002+08:00

1st Day - Tergelincir depan employees sebab mengada nak pakai heels 5 inci. 2 kali okay. Employees tahan gelak. Padan muka kau Misaah. Buat MYOB.

2nd Day - Pakai flats yang berbunga tapaknya supaya tak tergelincir lagi. Flats baru memang terbaik (terima kasih Bata) Buat MYOB lagi.

3rd Day - Disebabkan dapat jawab soalan berkaitan dengan company secretarial practice I am now the prodigy for the job (ceh) pergi CCM, hanta form untuk incorporation of company. Lepas tu majority of staff left for Bandung for family day. Buat MYOB. Habis kerja. Oh, internet office laju. MWUEHIHI.

Overall it was good. But I can't imagine doing these things for 6 months. It's so..repetitive. Aiyo, but it's for the sake of learning so I guess I just have to suck it up. For the whole 6 months. Aiyo.

I'm jealous of my friends yang ada friends working with them. Things wouldn't be so bored, in fact dorang cakap memang lagi best. Contrary to me, working alone, with seniors. So intimidating. First day dorang ajak lunch, but with these heels, hell no. Second day, kena belanja orang lain so did not spend any time with them. They're actually okay I guess, I gotta give it some time. I mean it's only been 3 days la kan. Chill la Mish.

BTW I've been jogging for almost a week now. Dropped 4 kilos! So happy! So I guess 16 more to go! :D

Nervous!

2012-01-29T20:53:00.001+08:00

It's been probably a week that I've arrived here in Sabah and I can sum it up into just one word: UNPRODUCTIVE.Or PROCRASTINATE-AT-ITS-BEST. Konon nak balik je nak kemas bilik (20% completed), update wardrobe (which I did, I have tons of baju kurung to give away probably to some orphanage or whoever that wants it), joging everyday (of course this didn't happen).

It's sad you know, having this kind of attitude.

Oh and the worst thing is, I LOST MY PRACTICAL FILE which have the most important things for my practical lah kan. Takkan aku lupa. No, sebab aku ingat aku place all the important files in my luggage. Dan semuanya ada kecuali benda alah tersebut. Tapi takkan hilang? Sapa nak curi? Kenapa tak ambil dokumen lain. Naik gila okey, when your practical is starting next week, Wed. Nasib baik I have helpful friends who sent me a copy of the form (ALYSSA VILLAMOR and MINZ HASSAN, shout out to ya! tears of gratitude for you bebeh :') )

This kind of attitude, cuai/lalai/careless/negligence, is sadder of course.

Haih, sometimes I think to myself, I am like in my 20s now. A young adult. ADULT WEI. Soon to be an ADULT. Yet I don't feel like one. Rasa macam I belong in high school. I was much more pathetic in high school, so no. OMG I don't belong anywhere.

I can't even cook a complete meal. I mean like nasi and lauk-pauk. I can cook rice (tapi itupun basah, but I like it that way) but I can't imagine cooking rice and sausages, nuggets and fried egg for the rest of my life. EH just to set the record straight I also can cook nasi goreng. Tapi untuk sendiri makan lah. Serving others is not even an option. But there this one time I was cooking sweet and sour sausages (yeah, laugh all you want at my dish) but I had to have my mom on the phone. Janji ada usaha. Well tu la, sebab ada housemates tak puas hati that I'm the only one who is not cooking in the household. Urgh, memang geram time tu, cakap aku tak tolong, tak nak belajar, well, kalau dah ada sampai 3 orang kat dapur tu macamana aku nak tolong? Nak aku menyemak dekat dapur tu? Pergh. Agak panas la. So I will only go to the kitchen when Min is there, at least dia nak ajar aku betul2, at least dia panggil wey. That's why I love her :D

Anyways, I saw this girl from high school, she lost weight, and that inspired me, like any other weight loss stories, but hey I knew her and I kind of feel threatened hehe. So, maybe during this internship I'll be hitting the park or the gym. I MUST. Starting tomorrow. I'll probably write about this journey down the scale. And about my practical. NERVOUS!!

tarik nafas dan hembus

2011-12-26T20:51:00.002+08:00

Tak salah kalau orang nak menegur, walaupun orang tu sendiri tak sempurna, mungkin teguran tu juga sebagai peringatan buat diri sendiri.

Okay, fine. Aku faham.

Tapi bila kau tegur siap dengan sindiran seolah2 orang tu keji sangat, memang menampakkan yang seolah2 kaulah sempurna, dan sememangnya perangai kau bikin panas.

Not hating, just saying.

excoexcogosipgegerl

Song of the Moment: A Thousand Years - Christina Perri

2011-12-22T17:47:00.000+08:00

Okay, you can call me slow and not updated. Aku baru dengar lagu ni dua kali through 2 marriage proposal videos who used the same song. So I decide to youtube it today haha *kesian*

Aku sebenarnya dah nampak ramai sangat orang post lagu ni dekat dinding mukabuku, tapi tak berselera nak buka sebab aku tak berkenan sangat dengan lagu Jar of Hearts, bosan gila make me wanna ZZZ

BUT THIS SONG.

It makes me happy and sad at the same time. Nak menangis tapi awww. And this song makes me wanna watch Twilight again HAHA serious WHY, YOU HAVE PROBLEM WITH THAT *gangsta look*. Maybe because the cut off the sex scene kot. WHAT. I'm curious okay. I mean tetiba Bella bangun dan rumah macam kena stampede oleh itik sebab banyak bulu berterbangan . Or maybe sebab time aku masuk pawagam dah 20 minit lambat. Tak puas tengok.

Yang penting confirm aku akan buat video kahwin guna lagu ni. InsyaAllah hihi :D

001

2011-12-18T01:20:00.003+08:00

I am just so SICK of being like this.

Ya, mungkin Tuhan menguji.

Tapi kalau lama-lama begini, siapa yang boleh tahan?

Mungkin aku nampak kuat, aku nampak garang. Mungkin aku buat muka tak kisah macam hidup ni senang.

Tapi yang di dalam, Tuhan saja yang tahu.

Aku dah terlampau penat.

Ayam betul kan. Manja pun ada.

Tapi entah la, at this kind of exact moment, like few weeks before exams, things will happen. Every semester. Aku pun tak tau kenapa, in this sort of timeline (Anda sudah upgrade Facebook Timeline? Okbai)

Anyways.

That's life.

In these kind of circumstances, a hug from my mother would be the ultimate remedy.

Dorang cakap syurga di telapak kaki ibu. Bayangkan pula bila berada di dalam dakapan ibu. Syurga kepada syurga.

Rindunya aku.

Song of the Moment : Leka - Atilia

2011-12-17T21:54:00.000+08:00

Lihatlah

Lihat dia bermesra

Membelai kekasihnya

Sepenuh hati dan jiwa

Dengarlah

Nada sukma kasihnya

Membalas belai mesra

Berlagu

Kaulah kekasihku

Leka

Ku dibelai mesra

Jarimu merayu, mengoda

Di dada binasalah aku

Hanyut kepadamu

Kerana leka

Dan juga tergoda

Belaianmu mesra

Apakah

Akan begitu kita

Andai ditakdir pula

Kita semua kasihnya

Dengarkan

Degupan jantung hati

Gelora cinta kami

Menyanyi

Kaulah cinta sakti

Artist : Atilia

Composer : Dick Lee

Lyrics : Adlin Aman Ramlee

OST : P Ramlee the Musical

Wait.

Adlin Aman Ramlee?!

Ombak Rindu : This woman said it all.

2011-12-10T21:34:00.001+08:00

Ombakrindu:

1. Good PLOT. Not great. Tp itu pun kerananovelnya hebat. Menjadikan ia fresh berbanding jln cerita tipikal yg lain. Tpsayang, script tidak ada dinamo. Poorly adapted.

2. Editing menyedihkan. Banyak scene yg tiba2kabur. Out of focus. Transition antara scene adalah poorly executed: ada sceneyg tiba dialog terpotong tgh2 dan di fade out kan xsemena2. Audio: kenapa x adakawalan? Gap antara highest frequencydgn lowest begitu jauh.

3. Pelakon MUNGKIN tidak membaca seluruh novel,kerana pemanifestasian tidak sampai tuju. Karektor tak dinamik; peralihan moodtidak subtle; mereka menangis tp yg terjelas cuma airmata, tidak kehancuranjiwa mereka; mereka marah tp yg ada cuma jeritan dan agresif semata. In aminute, bila mereka menukar tone (kerana rata2 karektor perlu mengubah intonasikrn secara asasnya mereka seolah2 ada split personality) mereka menukarnyatanpa mengira mood asal patut bersisa. Standing ovation utk pak dolah. Danmael. Bahasa tubuh mereka-- memabukkan.

4. Casting. Kimia izzah dan mael tidak ada. Sehalebih nampak. Sdgkan izzah dan mael berkawan dari kecil. Mila dan harismembesar dr kecil bersama. Tp mila nampak jauh umurnya. Casting sepatutnyamencari pelakon yg menepati usia dan watak. (atau mungkin ini spt lailaisabella di mana rosyam noor dan nasha aziz yg 30an melakonkan watak remajahipster berusia awal 20an)

5. Cikgu mengaji. Scene cuma menggunakan 4 barisdari yaasin. Apalah salahnya diperbetul dulu sebutannya. Perkataan yaasin itusendiri, sekurang2nya.

6. Prop. Benda2 kecil jgnlah pndg enteng. Takkanlahizzah di kampung pakai jam besar begitu asalnya-- semata2 utk ditukarkan nantidgn haris-- supaya tak janggal haris memakainya. Atau pada scene awal.Takkanlah haris tak berstokin dgn kasut kulitnya. Atau kenapa izzah yg dalamrumah pun bertudung tp menjemur baju berkemban. Atau baju wafia yg jelas bukansaiznya sehingga menampakkan bojol perut dan lebihan di punggungnya ygmenampakkan seluar dalamnya. Kasihan pelakon nampak tidak bijak.

7. Pelakon tambahan jgnlah dikejami. Kalau mmg mahuambil gred rendah, jagakah mereka mengikut watak. Mmglah ibu bapa mila tidakada dialog, tp elok2 lah.. Dan carilah pembaca berita yg secara realitinyalogik. Atau bila sdg shot penting (tight shot ke bahu ke atas), tolonglahpastikan tidak ada civilian di blkg. Bila penonton lebih fokus pd org belakang(kerana terlalu out of place); ia menjadi lawak.

Sprti kl gangster dan lagenda bdk setan, cerita inibukan utk movie junkie. Hype keterlaluan di fb yg menyebabkan anda meletakkanstandard bar tinggi cuma akan membikin anda kecewa.

Ombak rindu sesungguhnya diselamatkan jln cerita ygbegitu bagus-- tak pelik, kerana dtgnya ia dr novel hebat. Tapi... Kita bukanhendak membaca, kan...?
Ok. Aku telah cuba sebaik2nya utk jadi sehalusmungkin. Harap nampaklah lapiknya. Aku sudahi dgn "tapi dia okay..." -- ayat standard selepas mengata.

- Fynn Jamal

My response : I CONCURI CONCUR I CONCUR.

If you do not know her, then I suggest you to the usual whentrying to find articles to plagiarize for your assignments.

She’s awesome. I discovered upon blog hopping sometimeago during my high school time. Nak jadi se-puitis and se-artistik as her, butended up sounding like a retard instead huhu.

See, I was very excited to watch Ombak Rindu given all thehype about it (especially from the readers of the novel, gile promote habisdorang tu) and of course because of Aaron Aziz. Yes, I’m a fan, not just me butalso le mother, and he’s hot, and you can go away if you have problems withthat hmmp haha. Semua orang pun cakap movie tu bikin nangis and all, so I’mlike okay, challenge accepted.

Time dalam panggung wayang tu, I have to admit, banyak kali dahair bertakung dekat besen tu tapi tak melimpah keluar (see penggunaan metaforaI, puitis tak? HAHAkbai) but was spoiled many times thanks to the things thatakak Fynn has listed out.

I mean time dorang berdua beromentik atas batu kat pantai tutiba-tiba ada minah in pink lalu belakang. Macam AISSSHHH Y U THERE?! Y U NOLALU SOMEWHERE ELSE?! I mean those things makes benda yang sepatutnya intim danromantik bertukar menjadi lawak.

This scene kan?

And time Wafi ada, with her tight gray dress, perut diaterkeluar kot, and her ass, showing all the cellulites and all kot, I mean,COSTUME PEOPLE, Y U NO GIVE HER PROPER ATTIRE?! People were laughing at thatkot. What’s the name of the actress? Mesti dia malu. Mesti lah. 1Malaysia waswitnessing her boroiness and the lipatan of her underwear kot. Ye la, aku pun boroi. That’s why I don’t wear body shaping dresses.I will look like a potato.

Want to find pictures of Wafi's butt, BUT failed. So I entered this caption instead :3

EDITINGEDITINGEDITING. Both video and audio. In Ombak Rindu, the editing sampai tahap menganggu atmoshere movie tu sendiri, it does spoil the movie a bit. I wonder why not many Malaysian movies still haven't master this part yet. I mean we dah make many movies kot. But as usual, quality triumphs over quantity kan? I think we do have produced many talented people for the job. So why still lousy? OK mebbe susah, but that's why people go to university and ada the video editing course kan. Or am I wrong because I have no idea what to explain in detail when it comes to this, I don't have the qualification or the experience. But when something looks odd and out of place, then it is what it is kan.

I like it the time Lisa Surihani got mad though. I thought it sounded real sebab keluar caci maki walaupun tak teruk sangat. It got the audience like OOOOOO SHE MAD. I mean movie Melayu kalau orang tu marah macam tersekat sangat, because have to comply with whatever shitty laws they have with all the tatasusila and all. I mean, if you're mad, SHOW ME THE RAAAAGE, RELEAAASEEE THE TITAAAAAANS *thunderstorms*. Not just, 'Awak ni jahat!' and that's it. I mean, orang tu buat shit dekat you and all you can come up with is 'awak ni jahat'. DAFUQ? Lisa was like, SIAL! SLUT! And I was like YEA YOU GO GIRL. Tapi dalam tengok dia marah-marah and emosi, it kind of reminded me of someone. Me. Tapi kalau aku marah lagi teruk la. Trying to control that temper of mine though. Tak bagus selalu marah-marah ni :(

Overall, to me it was good, not bad. Takkan rugi duit tiket punya. Could've been better though. Will I watch it again? Sure,because I’ve promised someone to watch it together. I mean it was able to makemy eyes watery what, except that it didn’t fall down.

Last note : Support la industry filem tempatan. Siapa laginak support filem Malaysia kalau bukan orang Malaysia sendiri. Takkan nak orangPapua yang support kan? Tapi wahai filem industri tempatan, please improve thequality and stop making movies like the ‘Professor’ punya movies, Toyol Nakal and the likesof it, itu sangat memalukan.

Lastlast note: Don't scroll down kalau awak cepat malu atau takut dengan dosa. Saya tak nak tanggung, dosa sendiri pun dah banyak.

At this exact moment, all the girls wished they were Maya Karin and all the boys wished they were Aaron Aziz. Don't lie you hihihi *blush*

Guys...

2011-12-03T19:27:00.001+08:00

To guys everywhere, perempuan tak memandang rupa sangat sebenarnya. Ada orang tu, kalau nak kata hensem memang out of syllabus, tapi ada 2 girlfriends at the same time. See? You can be a rotten disfigured asshole yet have chicks crawling all over your dick. #geram

I is taggd?

2011-11-28T23:53:00.001+08:00

By both my senior Kak Ija and junior Diyana!

TERMS & CONDITIONS:

You must post these rules.
Each person must post 11 things about themselves in their journal.
Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post. And create eleven new questions for the people you tagged to answer.
You have to choose 11 people to tag and link them on the post.
Go to their page and tell them you have tagged HIM/HER
No tagging back!
No stuff in the tagging section about "YOU ARE TAGGED IF YOU ARE READING THIS" YOU LEGITIMATELY (a.k.a REALLY, TRUST, WITH ALL HONESTY) have tagged 11 people.

11 facts about me.

I am left handed.
The first few crushes when I was a kid that I recall having are Edward Scissorhands, Casper (the time he got to be a boy during the dancing scene LIKE DAMNNNN I wanted to be in Christina Ricci's shoes so baaad) and boy in red, the leader in 3 Little Ninjas *googles* AHA ROCKYYY! Gatal jugak aku time kecik2 kan.
Hot headed, I have a really high temper. Tapi jangan risau, kalau kau over je yang kau patut risau.
I have a pet cactus, her name is T-mun (short for Tengku Munirah) will make post(s) about T-mun in the future.
Doodles pokemon and anime people on table when bored or don't understand anything.
Fooled many with my manly voice.
A girl thought that I sounded cool because I fooled her using my manly voice. I'M SO SORRY HAHAHA.
Pocahontas, Jasmine, Belle and Esmerelda would be my favorite Disney Princesses.
Contrary to bullshit people believe I am not as 'social' as they think I am.
My being consists majority of Paranoid Parrot and about 5% Socially Lazy Sloth. Google them and they will tell you the story of my life.
I don't have a driving license. Yet.

Inilah Casper. Kesian bila dah besar tak berapa gorjes sangat. So sad. Google: Devon Sawa.

11 Qs From Kak Ija.

1. Do you watch football? What's your team?

Only when Malaysia is playing.

2. Do you think that Facebook will face the same fate as Friendster and Myspace did?

And be replaced by G+ ? Aha.

3. Why do you blog?

I blog to express not to impress - a random Tumblr quote. I blog because it makes me feel better. Sekadar nak luahkan perasaan atau menhilangkan bosan kali.

4. What makes you hit the "LIKE" button on Facebook?

Because I like the post? Funny, sometimes kalau orang tu hit like, tak semestinya aku ni memendam perasaan cintan yang lama terhadap tuan punya post, or me trying to make the first move. I hit like because I like the post. Nothing more.

5. What is your favorite movie/s of all time?

Disney's.

6. Where is your phone as you are blogging this?

Di meja sebelah.

7. A picture from your last birthday.

Takde, kalau ada pun X-Rated. Tak sopan uolls teehee.

8. Where is the poop?

OTW ke loji pembuangan, akan dikitar semula sebagai air minum/mandi anda MUAHAHA

9. What is in your handbag/bag?

Bawah katil kali...

10. Do you have any of Dashboard Confessional's song in your playlist?

Nope.

11. Do you love/like me? Why? ehee

SEBAB KAK IJA SEPORTINKKKKKK!!!! :D

11 Qs From Kak Komander Diyana.

1. three words that describe me

Friendly, bubbly, sunshine! :D

2. number of times you go out shopping

Ehe sorry I don't keep track of that.

3. gadget you wanna own

Apa2 yang lebih molek daripada apa yang saya ada sekarang huhu.

4. dream wedding theme and honeymoon spot

It would be small and simple, tak nak besar sangat, and kalau boleh I don't want bersanding. Baik save the money and splurge it on honeymoon, travel the world terus! For honeymoon, EVERY CONTINENT I WANNA GO BEFORE THE BABY ARRIVES so I can tell my children which one is made in which country ahahahah. No la, somewhere in Europe or the Middle East. I am not sure yet, belum survey2 lagi hihi.

5. a song you hate

Oooo this I cannot say, kalau tak the song will be stuck in my head and I start to hum the song like crazy, currently the song is from lmfao, the one where they wiggle their dingdongs, stupid I know.

6. chocolate cake or chocolate ice-cream?

Together.

7. the cutest animal

Those animals I reblogged in Tumblr. GERAMMMM <3

8. favorite harry potter character

Ron. Draco. Snape <3

9. suggest me a book or two worth reading

5 People You'll Meet in Heaven and Tuesdays with Morrie because I just read those books. And by just read is actually last sem.

10. person you love to stalk

EHH ADALAA hihi.

11. what do you usually daydream about?

Random things, like tetiba there's a giant monster bursting out from a portal on the whiteboard and everyone is scared and running everywhere and tetiba a sword appear and I would slay the monster and turns out I am the Princess they hid on earth from the evil spirits who tried to track and kill me because I am the chosen one, the savior of all the beings of the universe. Really random things.

The 11 people I tag.

Okay just minus the 10 and we got one so I tag Iana because I think she's probably the only one who would respond to me *forever alone* OK maybe I'll tag a few, see? Not that alone :3

OH GOD I FORGOT MY 11 QS.

Here it goes mwuehehe.

If you could turn into the opposite sex what would your name be?
The 3 things you live by.
Are you guilty of stereotyping? If so, stereotype yourselves hihi.
Movies that made you cry.
Your favorite feel good jam.
Pick your number here, and paste your result!
Do you know how to make ice cream goreng? Or at least where to get the meanest ice cream goreng?
A rapper that you would love to date.
Name one tv series that you would love to star in.
If someone were make a movie based on your life what would the genre be?
Three words to describe me heehee.

Rusted.

2011-11-15T11:08:00.000+08:00

Aku faham kalau ada orang yang tak suka perempuan pakai makeup tebal2. Aku mengaku ada yang macam badut, blusher tompok2, eyeliner/shadow macam panda, tak pun macam baru keluar dari Fight Club.

Aku faham kalau ada orang tak suka perempuan yang baju tight2 skimpy2. Aku mengaku aku teringin dan aku tak boleh pakai baju yang body hugging sebab perut buncit.

Aku faham kalau ada orang yang tak suka perempuan rambut berkaler, berkarat dalam bahasa kasar. Aku mengaku rambut blonde tidak selari dengan muka yang jawa ini.

Aku faham kalau ada orang tak suka perempuan yang pakai high heels. Aku mengaku kalau aku pakai aku lebih tinggi dari 3/5 bilangan kaum lelaki dalam universiti dan lelaki akan rasa tercabar.

Tapi aku tak faham kenapa orang ramai anti sangat dengan perempuan with any one of the features. Especially yang sempurna keempat2 sifat diatas. Memang kena kaw2 la kan. Ape ni, cakap dekat facebook hari tu don't judge the book by it's cover laa you know my name not my story laa, update dekat tumblr pasal discrimination if i'm emo i must cut myself, if i'm black i must like fried chicken. stop labels. Why must our kind be an exception? Aku mengaku, makeup aku tebal, rambut aku ada perang2, kadang2 pakai heels, tapi baju longgar you, badan belum 33-26-36 lagi. Tapi tak perlu la nak hina sangat kan :(

Thanks to Mr K's blog post, I am here to defend the rights of my kind.

Why makeup tebal? Rambut karat?? Ingat cantik sangat ke? Natural beauty is in demand. Kalau takde makeup lagi lelaki pandang. PUIH.

Define natural beauty. Yang aku agak la kan, dorang label natural beauty kalau perempuan tu memang dilahirkan cantik, inherit good genes, thus the term natural beauty. Kalau lah muka kami ni muka jawa kampung yang super comot, rasanya ada tak yang nak label natural beauty? Kalau natural beauty tu is in demand, what will happen to us, in my definition, yang bukan natural beauty?

Oh hi, that's what makeup is for. To enhance the beauty of a person. Muka gelap, tampil lebih cerah, bibir hitam kusam tampil lebih segar dengan gloss, muka pucat lesu tampil lively dengan blusher dan eyeliner. Muka jawa transform to Seventeen white cover girl. Tapi kalau ko mekup ala opera cina, then pleaseeeee laaaa. Less is more, try mekup ala natural to fool the guys aha. If not I have no choice but to tie you on top of my car and go to a drive through carwash.

And kenapa ramai yang assume orang yang bermakeup ni nak kan perhatian lelaki 100%? I'm not gonna lie, ada yang bermakeup to look and be more significant towards the opposite sex. Let's be realistic, first impression is all about things that are superficial. Love at first sight. Can you read someone's personality at first sight, no, it's all about what you see. Sekarang anda tau kan agenda, maksud dan propaganda istilah tersebut. Love at first sight is only for beautiful people. If you're not then love is far away from what I feel even if you walk pass me again a million times.

Ada yang lagi to boost their self confidence and self esteem. When you have those two powers and BAAAAAAM, you can take on everything! You know why most of us have lack of self esteem? Because of this stupid standard of how a beautiful woman should look like. Really, I have to blame the media for setting the beauty standard to impossible. Media dah set perempuan2 cantik adalah seperti Megan Fox, Fauziah Gous, Lisa Surihani dan Diana Danielle. Pernah pulak Whoopi Goldberg jadi cover girl FHM? And who's controlling the media I ask you? MEN. Therefore, we must put the blame on MEN. Especially Mr K hihi.

Pelik kan lelaki ni. Cakap cantik luaran ni tak penting, yang penting cantik budi pekerti. Cantik muka kau. That is one of the biggest lie ever made by men untuk tak nampak shallow. Hoohah2 pasal tak payah nak berlawa2, you're beautiful just the way you are konon, bajet nampak baik la, bajet Bruno Mars, bajet antara segelintir lelaki yang tak mementingkan paras rupa, oh murninya, sejuk hati kite. Just add a beautiful, hot girl in the picture and I'll guarantee you si lelaki macam kena rasuk, tergedik2 dekat perempuan tu like eww menyampah. I've seen this movie so many times, I know some of you watched it too ;)

Back to the topic.

Okay let me tell you briefly, I'm just really annoyed by these labels of how we appear as we are because we are craving for attention. At least I know some of us aren't like that. Some of us do it for the experience from the experiment. Some of us do it to feel good about ourselves, which will do wonder for our confident and self esteem. I find nothing wrong in that. Sebab without confidence, you can actually do nothing much. True story. Want the story, ask me later.

"Girls do not dress for boys. They dress for themselves and, of course, each other. If girls dressed for boys they’d just walk around naked at all times." - Betsey Johnson.

Kan?

FACTS:

We DO dress for ourselves. Nak jugak nampak konfiden, lawa, blablabla. Nak jugak orang notice and puji 'eh, lawa eyeliner you. ajar pls pls'. Nak nampak ranggi, baru orang lain intimidated hihi. Nak bergaye gitu. And yes, when you are properly dressed and in appearance, memang la orang akan puji. Eh, kalau ko buat anything yang bagus, memang orang akan puji la cerita dia. Tapi tu la, it can either motivate you, or break you, jadi riak teruss.

We DO dress for each other. Why? Sebab ada kawan2 ni yang mulut macam dinosor cakap gaya kite macam gadis kampung. Sakit hati okay :'( Ada jugak one of my friends yang pernah mengaku malu untuk lepak-lepak kat Centre Point kalau orang tu tak pandai bergaya. Aku terasa do. Sangat :'( Tapi sekarang appearance wise, I think I could put a KO match, like. a. boss.

Anyways, regarding to this topic I know many is against it because of our religion.

Aku faham that people are pissed because kita dah lah free hair, pandai2 dye lagi, melawan fitrah or something like that. Pastu bermekup pulak, pakai baju ketat pulak, memang confirm lifetime membership kat neraka la kan is what they will say.

Aku faham, dalam agama kita tak boleh over sangat, semua mesti moderate (kalau bermekup).

Aku faham, rambut kena tutup, but sebenarnya bukan aurat saja, our body, our attitude, it's all aurat. Sebab kalau bertudung tapi pakai baju ketat dan perangai macam hampeh, bukannya mengikut definisi penuh menutup aurat kan.

Aku faham. Aku sudah berbekal dengan ilmu agama tapi aku masih tidak menurut suruhan yang Esa. Iman aku tak sekuat mana, dan aku masih begini mengikut kemahuan diri sendiri, mengikut nafsu.

You know the real reason behind this post? Because our society, segelintir daripada mereka, kalau dengan orang yang sebegini, ada yang akan block out terus, tak boleh terima, kira macam pulaukan golongan macam ni. OK, bukan society la, cliques gitu. I mean ada cliques yang alim, tudung labuh sume, when I approach them (because I approach all types of people, me no discriminate) dorang pandang aku lain macam, yang aku ni jelek sangat. Sakit hati tu ada jugak la, but when I think back, with the way I represent myself, maybe dorang tak boleh nak terima, mungkin tak nak associate dengan aku takut berdosa. Hmm.

But people, instead of making it that way why don't you think for a moment, why don't you embrace them instead, accept them, foster a good relationship with them, secara tak langsung you will inspire and make them to do good, given yang kau a good Muslim la. Daripada ko nak buat muka 'ewwwww, karat gurls gtfo'. I mean, if you were that concerned you would do something about it, and in a good way, instead of bitching and whining it to others on blog.

At least la berdoa dalam hati semoga si karat mekup tebal diberikan hidayah, tapi tak, ada yang nak kutuk berabis, and that's when we'll say that you're no better than us. Iya la, dah ko keluar perkataan keji berabis, does it signals orang baik suci alim, the people I wanna turn to? Why should we accept the words from the people who have a hard time accepting us? That's probably why some perangai semakin menjadi-jadi, because to me, lagi you segregate others, lagi dorang semakin over dengan perangai masing2.

Sometimes I think to myself this kind of people ni bukan jenis yang boleh masuk dengan semua orang, or maybe a 16 years old kid (before you tweenies whine about being a righteous little bitches now let me tell you something, we've been in your shoes and you actually know nothing. HAHAbai) Tapi aku faham jugak la, ada orang yang pintu hati dia tu tertutup, buat la macam mana, ajak dia ke arah kebaikan and all, but all they will give is excuses. I understand that. Tapi takyah la dok hina2 dorang, nanti kau pulak yang berdosa kan, lagi teruk kau pulak yang akan buat dosa yang sama kan? Kita doakan je la untuk dorang dan jugak diri sendiri kay.

Pernah teringat pasal satu orang kakak ni, alim, lemah lembut, rakan surau, memang menutup aurat the full requirements punya. She's friendly towards everyone (to guys tak sangat la kan) and even to people like me. Those kind of people have the power to inspire. And she did :)

Teringat juga about my junior. She said to me in a polite and nice manner 'Kakak, kakak ni cantik' (perasan terus hihi) 'Tapi rasanya kakak lagi cantik kalau bertudung :)' Takde pun aku marah attack dia cakap itu urusan aku dengan Tuhan, I said thank you dear, doakan untuk akak ye? :) That girl pun baik, aurat dijaga and all. Funny thing is tetiba I hugged her, terharu kot, maybe I felt it was so nice and sincere of her for the advice. See? You tegur orang lain baik2, mana tau you'll get a free hug from me.

Aku harap kamu pun faham juga. Aku manusia biasa yang tidak pernah lari dan lali daripada membuat kesilapan. Kau pun begitu. We're not perfect and so are you. Ours are just so easily attacked because it's not some well kept secret, it's the most visible to the naked eye.

I am striving to be a better person, to be a better Muslim, not just appearance wise, but inside and out too. Bukan aku jak la, aku pasti ramai lagi yang menyimpan hasrat tersebut. I may not put on the hijab and cover my aurat completely starting now or sooner, but I do pray to Allah to give me the chance to do so, to change myself.

Anak ustaz yang hot, where are you now?!

2011-11-13T17:55:00.001+08:00

I am right now in KLIA, waiting to be fetch by someone who has trouble being punctual. Or maybe I am being too harsh given the circumstances that person have to endure throughout his journey.
Anyways. I got to met Gene and Mala and boy am I filled with envy. They are now earning their own money, and I can't wait to do so myself. Problem is I hate working, couldn't remember the last time I really enjoyed my work. Eh, tapi aku pernah kerja 2 kali jak pun.

BTW I watched Tower Heist and Immortals. GILA SYIOK WEY. I thought Tower Heist is going to be another ghetto movie cuz they have Eddie Murphy in it, and usually I don't really prefer the type of comedy with him innit like Nutty Professor and Dr Doolittle (except Shrek) but the story is monumental alright. The movie gave me a FUCK YEAH feeling right after watching it. Immortals; best la. But sad because of some scenes where they torture the characters, like the mom and the oracles (they fucking boil them in a steel bull or cow, okay might sound funny the way I describe it but it's so kejam :'( ) So the movie's kejam, but I am definitely a fan!

Okay talking about kerja, my first experience would be working as a waitress/cashier right after SPM. Ni my bestfriend punya pasal la. I worked overtime like 10 friggin hours okay. Dah la aku selalu datang awal. I worked there for like 2 weeks (hebat kan) and then decided that I don't ever want to work with food no more. I don't serve people, people serve me cewah. The highlight of this experience would be us fighting over each other on who's going to buy materials over the ustaz's kedai runcit because his son is hot as hell.

Second working experience would be as a trainee in an audit firm. The owner was very nice and helpful lady but she was so busy sampai no time to tutor us on certain things. So that leads us on FBing on client's office. Cerita dia dorang report la dekat our boss but she reacted by saying 'Aiyaaaa, I think I understand la, mebbe you guys are still young kan, want fun' Uh, not really. It's just we don't know what else to do. I mean, we were working on auditing for a month when the thing can be finished in 3 days. Still we didn't really complete our work teehee. Experienced office politics and racism. Le boss cakap, well, she's sorry about what happened during our work, sorry about what we've gone through. What else can we do kan?

Tadi dalam flight, I saw one familiar face. Turns out she's a girl from uni back in Sabah, and now she's a stewardess. I was like eeeeeeeehhhhhh and she was like so shy, tak cakap banyak la, she gotta serve others too pulak.

Tapi aku jeles la. Orang lain dah bekerja, ada duit sendiri. It's an awesome feeling you know. To earn your own money.

God, I cannot wait to graduate, get a job and earn that purples! (sebab green kan lima ringgit)

Sekarang saya nak buat kamu pula yang terasa. Boleh?

2011-10-23T10:58:00.000+08:00

Saya tak suka cakap-cakap belakang, perli-perli macam makciks, beremo-emosian di fb. Kalau tak puas hati cuba confront kalau berani. Sudah terasa? Sakit hati? Now tell me if this solves anything.

See, I'm even doing it right now. But in blogger, sebab followers tak seramai friends di fb. I mean, I don't want to look like an emotional rage machine in facebook, because imagine if what happens in facebook happens in real life. I mean if suddenly some random chick (or even dude) pours her heart out to you. Like the fuq do I know you? Why are you telling me this?! Hot chicks and dudes are an exception however (COME HERE LET ME COMFORT YOU SAYANG)

Anyways the above are totally irrelevant, you can post whatever statuses you want, it's your account, so basically you can do whatever you want with it, and honestly I have no problem if anyone wants to share their emotions out on facebook. I understand that it's kind of makes you feel slightly better when you post/write things out, so I'm actually cool with it :3 (Sebab aku pernah buat jugak teehee, doesn't everyone? Jangan nak tipu la)

But then I do have a problem when people post shit untuk buat orang terasa, but in reality that person has never did anything but to talk behind one's back dan perli.

Let me share something about myself. Sometimes my friends said that I don't have any emotion 'Macam laki-laki la kau Misaaaah'. And you know what, I am damn thankful for that, buat apa aku nak emo-emo/atau rasa bersalah dekat benda yang ko tak pernah nak bagitau aku directly? I mean, we ain't in high school no more, gurl. If you have a problem, you say it to my face. It may resolve the problem depending on the given circumstances lah. At least it will, daripada ko nak perli-perli macam bab* (kalau tak nak kasar sangat ganti * dengan y tq). Once I know that you've been doing this perli the whole time, next time aku akan tembak ko terus, yes it happened before, and it wasn't pretty. I may be emotionless at the time being or before, but once you get to my bad side than prepare for the unexpected. Oh, dan sebab aku macam laki-laki so I'll tend to get physical to e.g like crushing your head against the wall? LOL jk (you'd hope)

Kesimpulannya begini, kalau ada masalah, sila la berjumpa dengan orang yang berkenaan. Seriously I have no problem negotiating or tolerating to whatever. I mean we can solve the problems together, daripada ko diam-diam, cakap belakang, perli-perli, tapi aku tak terasa and then ko bertambah sakit hati, but then one day aku tau dan aku sendiri yang confront you dengan cara yang kasar and we end up being awkward friends? Kan? I don't like having awkward friends, it is equivalent of having no friends at all.

So the moral of the post is if you got a problem yang memang ko tak boleh tahan (diluar tahap toleransi), gather your hanging balls to solve it by communicating rationally directly to that person. Don't sacrifice your relationship by posting syok sendiri statuses just because your lack of courage to do so. Buat apa baik-baik di depan tapi di belakang menyetan?

Atau.

Ko duduk diam-diam saja (luahan hatis are acceptable, I mean you can't bottle everything up, nanti KABOOM), and eventually darah tu turun sikit. Ko chill saja la cerita dia.

OK last kesimpulan (yang tulus daripada hati ini), aku lagi suka kalau orang tu ada problem sama aku confront atau bertanya. Then kita bincang sesama. Things will be awkward for a few moments but things will be alright and run its natural course eventually kan? :)

Del.

2011-10-15T23:37:00.001+08:00

Why do I keep on deleting my old posts.

Malu kot. I'm the kind of person who gets embarrassed easily from what I did in the past. Like what happened last time omg pleeease tolong jangan ungkit. Even my old statuses or tweets and blog posts. And then facebook has to remind me of 'your status this day last year' which gives me massive seizure everytime I read it back. WHADEEPAK why you ungkit cerita lama ni?! *malu* terus delete. Thank god that feature is no longer there.

Facebook pun pandai betul. What if kalau that day on last year orang tu had a bad break up and post some sappy emo statuses, after some time pass orang tu struggle to forget everything and finally move on and being fabulous, and then on the same day this year he saw the status back and then everything flashes before his very eyes and he is broken again?! KAN?!

Anyways I delete everything because I sounded so naive and immature. Maybe because I am? Haih.

Please do understand me people, I am not exactly what I've portrayed in my tweets, tumblr, facebook or blog. At least not completely.

OK la, this time I try not to delete, kan kenangan tu? History. Later my children will know how hip I am during those days.

hip uols!

I really missed writing. It's my therapy. Tu la pasal open blog balik.